Fortunate Son

I'm blessed. Very blessed. I have troubles like everyone else, but I do realize that I'm blessed. I read about Steph's trouble with her mother. I've heard this sort of story before. It seems that most everyone I know comes from a broken home or a troubled home. I had a roommate who experienced various forms of abuse in the past. I've had a roommate who had a past experience with drugs due to being raised loosely. I've known a young lady whose father turned out to be bi-sexual and divorced his obese wife. Her parents have rarely ever held a job and put their various utilities in other people's names, including their kids' names. She has no idea what a real relationship is other than to use people and she won't keep a job. I've got tons of friends with divorced parents, step-parents, half-parents, adoptive parents, and single parents.

I'm blessed with great parents and I had a great childhood. I don't say this to brag because I honestly didn't feel that way much when growing up. I was the oldest son so I was the rebellious son. I was raised so well that my rebellion was wanting long hair and to stay out as late as I wanted. I sang so I couldn't and didn't have a desire to smoke. I couldn't stand the smell of beer so I had no desire to drink. Getting in trouble might involve something as minor as being 10-15 minutes late from when I agreed to be home. I even got on my dad's bad side by performing a Christian rock song I wrote in front of my school.

My dad is a preacher and in many ways very old fashioned. We were raised that we wouldn't attend school dances, except our senior prom (I didn't attend mine of my own accord.) and ones that were chaperoned by parents that we trusted. We couldn't wear shirts that didn't have collars to school or church. We couldn't have holes in our jeans. Our hair had to be off the ears and collar. We didn't listen to rock music unless it was Christian and even then some of it didn't pass my father's muster. We weren't allowed to stay at a friend's house if my parents didn't know their parents or if we would be without supervision.

I'm sure there are some that see that and insist that it is abusive. They would be wrong. We were not abused. We were encouraged to pursue sports and music. We grew up playing baseball, being in musicals and plays, involved in our church youth group, and working jobs such as mowing and grocery. We kept busy and really didn't miss most of the things we couldn't be a part of. Many of the trappings of school weren't appealing to me. I knew there was life after high school as opposed to those that are still treating their lives like high school.

I'm not sure my parents knew this when they were raising 3 boys, but it seems that they drew a line in the sand. They would have used this line as the type of adults they wanted us to grow up to be. Knowing that we would push any line they put in front of us, they pulled that line back a bit so that when we pushed, it would put us about where they hoped we would be.

My parents made a committment to each other and they have stuck it out and enjoyed most moments of it. They have kept their wedding vows and truly love each other. They raised us in a house of love. They were there when we got home from school. They made sure that we had as many meals as a family as possible, which meant most every night. Even when we started to eat in the living room, we ate together. We watched TV together. Dad had my brothers and I help him wash the car together. Dad coached some of our baseball teams. Mom made sure we learned how to play the piano and then let us branch out to voice or guitar lessons. We were encouraged to sing together at church and to encourage our friends to attend youth functions.

Does it sound very vanilla? Sure it does. There wasn't much that would be controversial in our house. Were we sheltered too much? Not at all. We weren't raised to be stupid. We've all followed our own paths as adults, but at one point or another those paths lead back to the way we were raised.

I have many friends who are parents and they could use lessons from my parents. I'm a single parent and I've used those lessons to gain every advantage to raising my children that I can. I'm not a single parent by choice so it's been a rough time on occasion. I will tell you, though, that my two beautiful daughters are better behaved that any other children I have seen their age. It's true. Love, discipline, understanding, fun, and lots of time together go a long way.

I was raised well. My parents are awesome and I love them very much. If I can be half the parent, I will do well with my children.